


The Hardest Part

by Magicofisis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Friendship, Post-Hogwarts, The Quidditch Pitch: Leaving Feast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-15
Updated: 2006-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:18:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicofisis/pseuds/Magicofisis
Summary: Voldemort was not the only one killed during the final confrontation, and for Harry, survivor’s guilt and martyrdom doesn’t mix well.





	The Hardest Part

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: Another in my Sheryl Crow series, this one is based roughly on the song _Safe and Sound_. Sorry about the angst. For what it’s worth, I don’t really think this will happen in canon. Apologies to [](http://shocolate.livejournal.com/profile)[**shocolate**](http://shocolate.livejournal.com/) for doing the unforgivable. Heartfelt thanks to adorable Kate for the beta.  


* * *

_Maybe this is forever_  
Forever fades away  
Like a rocket ascending into space  
Could you not be sad  
Could you not break down  
After all I won’t let go  
Until you’re safe and sound  
Until you’re safe and sound 

_There’s beauty in release_  
There’s no one left to please  
But you and me 

_I don’t blame you for quitting_  
I know you really try  
If only you could hang on through the night  
I don’t want to be lonely  
I don’t want to be scared  
All our friends are waiting there  
Until you’re safe and sound  
Until you’re safe and sound 

_~ Safe and Sound by Sheryl Crow  
_  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
She’d lost track of how many hours had passed, and then, how many days. It certainly wasn’t the triumphant victory they’d imagined when they’d first set out to search for Horcruxes. There was no mistake: Voldemort was dead at Harry’s hand, and this was cause for nearly every witch and wizard in the country to celebrate. But here, hidden away at St. Mungo’s like a couple of refugees, there was no celebration. There was only darkness and despair.  
  
Ron hadn’t made it.  
  
At the last minute, and without Harry’s knowledge, he’d stepped in front of a killing curse intended for Harry, just as Harry was raising his wand to kill Voldemort. Harry’s spell was cast before he realized what had saved him, and it wasn’t until after he saw Voldemort fall and turned to where Ron had been standing that he realized his best mate had made the ultimate sacrifice.  
  
Harry had fainted almost immediately. They’d brought him to St. Mungo’s and kept him sedated. That was no longer necessary, though. Now, he refused to eat and had to be force-fed restorative potions to keep his health.  
  
Hermione never saw what had happened. She’d been captured by Death Eaters a week earlier, and she only managed to escape hours before the confrontation by offering to have sex with her guard and overpowering him once he had his trousers down. She’d then tried to find Harry and Ron and the others, finally ending up at St. Mungo’s just as they brought Harry in.  
  
So she’d sat in the chair next to Harry’s bed, reading and waiting. They’d allowed her to sleep in the next bed, and gave her the meals he refused. But he wouldn’t talk to her – he wouldn’t talk to anyone at all. After they stopped sedating him, she could tell when he was awake, but he wouldn’t answer her inquiries, not even with a nod of the head or a smile. Harry’s were the saddest eyes Hermione had ever seen.  
  
"You’ve had an owl from Mrs. Weasley," she said tentatively on the fourth day. "They’re having a funeral for Ron and Mr. Weasley tomorrow. She’s hoping you’ll feel up to paying your respects." Hermione’s voice was shaking, but there was no movement from Harry except for one large tear that escaped from the corner of his eye and rolled rapidly down his face. The sight of it was nearly her undoing, but she knew she had to be strong. She was the only one who had a chance to keep him sane.  
  
Hermione reached over to grasp his hand. He did not recoil. "Harry, I know you have to be hurting at least as much as I am, probably more. But we need to do this – we need to say goodbye. And all I’m asking is that you hold it together for one more day before you breakdown. I promise I won’t leave your side, and I won’t let go of your hand until we’ve done what needs to be done and you’re safe and sound back here."  
  
Harry caught her eye and glared at her. It was the first meaningful eye contact they’d had. "Can’t," he rasped. "Hurts."  
  
Without a thought as to whether Harry would allow it, Hermione pulled him into a fierce embrace and began to bawl into his shoulder.  
  
"Yes, it hurts," Hermione whispered with a sniff. "I’m scared and lonely, and I’ve already lost Ron; I can’t lose you too."  
  
"Hermione—"  
  
Hermione pulled away, so that Harry could see her tear-stained face. "I don’t blame you for wanting to hide here and not think about it. I know you’ve..." she hesitated and swallowed hard, "thought about killing yourself."  
  
Startled, Harry’s jaw dropped and he gazed at her stupidly.  
  
"You’ve talked about it in your sleep," she replied to his unasked question. "Just hold on for one more night – that’s all I’m asking." She wasn’t exactly sure how she was going to get him to hold on tomorrow night, but they would have to deal with that after the funeral.  
  
Harry’s expression was clearly anguished as he burrowed back into his covers. Hermione wondered whether she’d said too much, or even if she’d said enough. She was going to go to that funeral, though, with or without him, and she was terrified that if she left him alone, he wouldn’t be alive when she got back.  
  
The next morning, Hermione walked into Harry’s ward wearing her dress robes. She was pleased to see that he was up and about, a Healer having helped him shave and shower, and he took his dress robes from her arms gratefully. As she waited on the other side of the curtains for him to slip them on, she noticed that some of the food from his breakfast tray had been eaten.  
  
"Are you certain we have to do this? Can’t you and I just have our own private ceremony to remember him?" Harry’s voice was hoarse from disuse, but his mind seemed perfectly alert.  
  
"Funerals are for the living, Harry, not for the dead. Ron’s mum and Ginny and the others need to see us there. All of our friends will be there, and we’ll help each other through it."  
  
"But Mr. Weasley worked for the Ministry. Scrimgeour is bound to be there and, er, Percy," said Harry with a frown.  
  
A small smile escaped from Hermione’s lips. "Ginny’s been given permission – encouraged even – to do a bat-bogey hex on anyone who bothers you. And I’ll do all the talking so you don’t have to unless you feel like it."  
  
Harry hugged her and didn’t let go. "I feel like I could have saved him," he whispered.  
  
"You saved everybody else, though. And he always wanted to do something special – something where he’d be known as someone other than Harry Potter’s best mate."  
  
Harry nodded, still clinging to Hermione. "Yeah. Now he’ll be known as Harry Potter’s hero."  
  
Hermione broke away and summoned a box of tissues. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she said, "Time to go."  
  
Harry nodded bravely and took her hand. "Don’t let go. You promised."  
  
With a nod, Hermione Apparated them to the Burrow.  
  
  
 _finis_


End file.
